A Lot Like Love

Don’t you think that Love more like a box of expensive chocolate?

We have to work hard to earn money and buy one, if you have enough, you are fine. And once you get too much, you’ll feel nausea about it.

Work hard equivalents to put some effort in love, buy one is finding the love and the getting too much part, don’t Queen once said that too much will kill you?

Well, that’s only in my point of view, you decide what’s your opinion. :D

Moving On

If you ever thought that breaking someone's heart is easy and not that painful, you got it all wrong.
Because for me, whether it is a broken heart or breaking someone's heart is just the same. Sucks.
It took a long consideration, think and rethink. And absolutely not easy.
Take a look to those painful eyes and saying good bye is as worse as telling someone his death sentence.
And the worst part is, when you finally realized that everything you say will only make things worse. But you can't shut up.
I made a decision. If you think this is because I trapped in my past, you got it all wrong. I believe I moved on. But sometimes, there are things that can't be forced. That's why I made this decision.
A friend of mine said this to me;
"Chay mah ga tahan sendirian."
Well, I guess she's right. I can't stand being alone because loneliness is killing me. But I can see clearly now that life isn't all about having a boyfriend and having all my friends is enough to brighten up my day. So, I try to take it slow this time, I'll live for the moment and stop thinking too far ahead. Now, I can face the world and say, I am happy now. :)

Everything happens for a reason.

Somehow I feel like I was in a movie.
You know, a part when the girl turn on the radio and every song just the same. Song that made her remember her broken heart. Yeah, that kind of thing.
I thought that's just a piece of nonsense, but now, I believe that might be true. Well, I guess it's lil' different in my case though.
A friend of mine say this to me one time when I was seriously in a broken heart,

"Everything happens for a reason"

At first, I was amazed that those words hit me so bad. Because I was like 'Why this happening to me?' all the time. I thanked him to remind me to that proverb. Simple yet hits so hard.
Okay, I'm not that instantly believe and be happy just because of that though. But the weird thing is, everything tells me just the same. When I said everything, I really mean it.
Here is some 'weird' examples:
1. I was in a movie and there was a 'Knight and Day's trailer show up and suddenly the camera shoot Tom Cruise in focus mode and he said,

"Everything happens for a reason"

2. I woke up and check up my twitter. Suddenly my favorite author write this in twitter,

"Starting a chapter called 'Omnia Causa Fiunt'. Everything happens for a reason."

3. I fell a sleep in the afternoon and wake up exactly when a commentator in a football match -out of nowhere- said,

"Ya, everything happens for a reason"

My reaction always the same if I heard that sentence by coincidence, it's always,

"What? Are you guys making a fun of me? Okay, Who's the boss here? You did this in purpose, right? DO YOU???"

And I finally laugh my ass off. This may be God's way to tell me,

"Yea Chay, everything happens for a reason. You don't have to see it by now, but later won't be too long."

Amin

I am just... Me.

I may listening to Oasis, Foo Fighters, Lenka, Mika,
Reading manga, chick magazines, cheesy novels, my accounting books, quality books,
Watching Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Fight Club, A Walk to Remember, SAW
Get pissed off, get mellow, cry and angry.
I may be weird by like all that things altogether, the hard and the soft.
I'm just a stupid girl who like to dream beyond my capability.
People told me that I'm such an insensitive person but then they say somewhat I can be wise.
I may bizarre but I'm just a girl. I'm not immune to broken heart.

Let it be, Rylynn

to you whom said, "this rylynn song will lead you to sleep"

and you whom said, "let it be will always be my favorite song after all. just let it be, chay."

thank you and deeply sorry.

i need some space. to think. and rethink.

thank you to help me. to understand me.

but i'm sorry. the thing is, i will end up hurting you.

so i stop here.

Can't buy me love

I live in Indonesia. A beautiful country that consist from -more or less- 17.000 islands, in 6^oLU – 11^oLS and 95^oBB – 141^oBT. Based on the location, Indonesia passed by equator line or Indonesian said, Garis Khatulistiwa. Equator line is an imaginary line that divide earth in to two sides. Therefore, Indonesia only has two seasons, sunny and rainy. We got tropical jungles with exotic floras and faunas surrounding us. Under our feet there are oils, golds, tins and other valuable minerals. We should be one of those rich countries. We supposed to lead mineral market and have the least unemployment and starving children. In fact, we are not rich country nor lead mineral market. To make it more worse we are one of the undeveloped countries with the largest population.

I'm not saying I'm not proud with my country, in fact, I LOVE INDONESIA. Yes, whether people said they are not proud with their own country I don't give a shit to them. I may want to go somewhere else for some sight-seeing but still Indonesia is in my first priority if I talk about living. I love being here with the polluted river and un-fresh air. I'm not talking sarcastic here, I'm just being realistic. I hate that we still crushed our country inside and out, talking about 'global warming' but still having our air conditioner on all day long. I cursed those big power people whom steal my country's money. Those with no justice feeling in their heart. I am not paying tax yet but I know that tax isn't supposed to pay somebody else's vacation's bill. I am also pretty sure that sleeping in your chair isn't included in their job description. Yes, I love my country because Indonesia did nothing to crush people's live, but we did. Well, 'they' did! I'm so sorry for those who sick being here and blaming everything in my lovely country. Whatever the reason is, this is where we born, where we belong.

I still can't figure it out what to do to fix my country. I'm just a college student with no power to judge someone right or wrong or make things little bit better. All I can is watch television, read some newspaper and not knowing whether it is right or wrong. I'm hoping that my writing can at least give people a different point of view about their loyalty to this country. That we supposed to be proud and not just mocking with doing nothing. Yes, this is the least that I can do for now.

Some days ago I went with economy class train. I saw beggars, lots and lots of beggars. Then I took a look to the window, to the skyscraper. There are lots and lots of that building in Jakarta but still I can see beggars scattered in Jakarta's filthy streets. I see mother and children sat under fly over giving their 'best look' to have people sympathy. Kids running in the roads with guitars try to make some money. Education is not in their 'to-do-list' but eat and sleep enough is. I heard someone said,

The most powerful weapon is not gun nor bomb. It is education.

I really agree. But with these conditions, what can we do. Really? There are too much tasks to make this country right again. Pay our country's debt, give more attention to education, reduce unemployment, go on and go on. Whether years are flying by we can't finish these tasks yet.

Then I went to some classy malls, took a look to people there and then I get confused. Which one of Indonesia is poor and filthy? Women covered themselves with expensive designer clothes, men got those sophisticated gadgets. Mercedes, BMW or even Ferrari, you can found here, easily. Then, please tell me, where the hell is Indonesia's part is undeveloped? When I was there, I feel like somebody put a blind fold upon my eyes. Then I took a look to the window and see the beggars still in the roads, scattered. They do not become less and even multiply. Then I realize I have to put off my blind fold, the reality is there, across the street. Not here with fancy desserts and too bright colorful lights. Life is what you have in the road not in the back seat of Ferrari.

I feel grateful that I can see both sides of life. The filthy one and the fancy one. I am not belong to both world because I live in the middle, starring the both world collide and try not to involved. I'm not trying to be ignorant but I guess, here is where I belong. I can't take the pressure to live in the road but live in the bright side of the world doesn't guarantee me happiness either. Louis Vitton bag may bring you happiness but it's only for a while, being fashionable may give a cheer upon your face but it won't last forever. Yes, you and your latex legging won't last, miss. Trend come and go and you have to running unless you left behind. But sometimes you just tired of running. Work harder, have a lot of money but leaves you alone in the evening. Got to wake up early in the morning but no one there to kiss you good morning is suck. But even having someone to hug you but no money to buy some bread isn't sound that good. We need to have life and love. Having much of both is not the option because life is all about balancing. Even The Beatles said,

Money can't buy me Love

There are lots of tasks to fix this country, to fix our life. But as long as we try, there is still a hope. :)

Over and out,


Chairunisa Azizah Wahab
♥♥♥

Life is unfair and it will never be.

Pernah ga sih kamu merasa bahwa dunia ini nggak adil?

Saat yang benar dipersalahkan dan yang salah didewakan.

Banyak orang bilang, orang baik hidupnya nggak lama. Tapi kenapa orang jahat bisa hidup bahagia sampai tiga turunan?

Tolong jangan jawab kita akan mendapat balasannya di akhirat nanti. Walaupun mungkin, jawabannya itu.

Terus kemana kata-kata, we get what we deserve? Dan KARMA! Kemana karma pergi? Bukannya apa yang kita lakukan akan berbalik pada kita akhirnya?

Tapi kenapa banyak orang baik tertindas hingga akhir hayat dan orang jahat tetap jahat hingga ajal menjemput?

Kenapa hidup nggak bisa lebih kayak film? Memiliki akhir bahagia. Dan kenapa penyakit mengerikan nggak cuma tercetak di buku aja. Lalu kenapa takdir buruk nggak terperangkap di novel aja?

Mungkin gue terlalu banyak bertanya. Mungkin gue terlalu naïf. Mungkin gue terlihat nggak beragama. Mungkin gue cuma seseorang yang terlalu percaya sama kata-kata klise yang sering diucapkan aktor lawas tahun 90an, dunia memang ga adil.

Kenapa dunia harus merengut senyum seseorang dan membiarkan seringai jahat tetap berada di sini? Bukankah kita semua mengharapkan hidup yang bahagia?

Maaf jika terdengar skeptis, tapi gue nggak mengerti ada apa dengan takdir dan dunia. Namun, mungkin gue akan mengerti seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. Mungkin, pada akhirnya gue akan menerima semua takdir tersebut dengan lapang dada dan bersikap positif.

Seperti seseorang yang masih menginginkan I-Pod Touch di waktu ia akan menjalani operasi tumor.

Sick and Tired

sick, tired and homeless
with no one here to sing for
tired of being weightless
for all these looking good boys

sick, tired an sleepless
with no one else to shine for
sick of all my distress
but I won't show I'm still poor

for more : Sick and Tired Lyric

hemm,seperti biasa. post kali ini gue awali dengan memberikan cuplikan lirik yang menginspirasi gue menulis kali ini. hahaha.
have i told you that I AM A BIG FAN OF THE CARDIGANS? I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHH!!! lagu-lagu mereka selalu jadi andalan gue.
kali ini lagu Sick And Tired mereka yang akan gue bedah. *gaya! hahaha..
as you can see, lagu ini bercerita tentang seorang cewek yang udah capek berusaha kurus cuma buat 'dipandang' sama all those good looking boys.
*untunglah cowok gue ga gitu. :D
udah bukan topik baru lagi cewek-cewek mau kurus karena cowok mereka mengharapkan mereka begitu. ataupun, karena most of the boy think that skinner is better. apalagi cowok-cowok yang merasa dirinya tampan. pasti maunya sama cewek yang sama oke-nya dengan mereka dan menambahkan embel-embel 'kurus' dijidat calon ceweknya. lebaii memang tapi that's the truth. we can't avoid that reality already spoke that girls are dying out there because of anorexic or other eating disorder. tapi gimana mereka ga mau berpikir kayak gitu kalo all the runways showing skinny models and Tv's showing fat-free actresses. walau gue juga ga mendukung kelebihan berat badan sampe obesitas ya. gue cuma berpikir bahwa being normal is more than just okay. we don't need to vomiting our lunch or skip dinner for a week.
gue jadi mau cerita. gue pernah denger cerita tentang tememnnya temen gue. panggil aja melati. *kenapa harus melati? gue juga ga tau. ;p
melati nangis semalaman suntuk cuma karena beratnya nambah 1 kilo! hoaaa.
what a waste, girl? why don't you cry because there are lots of people out there freezing to death because they have no home to sleep. why don't you cry because there are starving child being ignored in the streets? or just simple, why don't you cry, if you disappointing your parent?
menurut gue orang-orang yang obsessed to be thin instead of being healthy is an ignorant. apalagi si melati. gue mikir, apakah dia udah ga punya masalah lagi ya sampe segitu mempermasalahkan kenaikan beratnya yang hanya satu kilo itu?? *btw, melati sangat tidak obesitas ya. she's skinny!
gue merasa beruntung karena cowok gue ga suka gue kurus. kalo gue lagi males makan.*bukan gara-gara diet loh ya. dia selalu nyuruh gue makan banyak-banyak. dan dia bilang dia suka gue chubby. hahaha.
karena itu, seandainya gue bisa, gue pengen banget ngerubah mind set semua cewek di dunia. or at least shout :

"HELLO GIRLS! don't you tired to look perfect just for other? why don't you just enjoy yourself and the other will love you then."